The day our son was born...

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
- Elizabeth Stone

Some of God's greatest blessings come to us through great trial and difficulty. Jackson Jedidiah was to be no different. I remember the pure shock when January told me the results of the pregnancy test. The world suddenly took a turn for the surreal. Then morning sickness came, except it unfortunately didn't stay in the morning where it belonged, lingering through the day and night. Poor January was so wracked with nausea through those first few months. I am surprised she could keep anything down at all.

What seemed like an eternity, finally the coming of Jackson's birth arrived. Since January was a week past her due date, our doctor decided to induce labor. Surprisingly, though, when we arrived at the hospital she was in the beginning stages of labor. For the next twenty-five and half hours January and I were in her room as she endured the roller-coaster ride of the first few phases of labor. When the final phase started at around 5:30 in the evening on January 31st, I was drawn into one of life's most profound experiences - the birth of my son. Now I can only speak from a father's perspective, but there was a transcendent beauty in Jackson's birth. With my own eyes I saw the incredible strength and capacity to endure that God gave my wife. In the stress of that moment, she was a vision of beauty as radiant as when she walked down the aisle to be my bride. January's mom, Sue, and I were by her side for three hours as January pushed and pushed my large-headed boy into this world. The little guy's head was so big in fact that he needed a little tug from the doctor to get out.

When Jackson came out into this world at 8:30 that evening, weighing 7 pounds and 11 ounces, time stood still it seemed. I watched his little eyes open one at a time as he took in the outside world for the first time. His first cry was so soft, alarmingly almost. The gentleness of that cry still rings in my ears when I think of it. Maybe because I figured that any son of mine would come out with a deep growl and a six pack of beer. Not Jackson, though, from the moment he was born I was struck by his gentleness, his attentiveness, his own unique unmistakable beauty. While January, in the fog that women feel immediately after labor, was recovering and the medical staff had cleaned and measured Jackson, I was with him as he laid on the table. He cried briefly, only for a few seconds a couple of times, but what was amazing is how intently he took in everything that was around him. His eyes were the deep kind of blue that you see in the sky moments before night falls. I remember how he held me in his stare, and how now, in a uniquely visceral way, I had some small category for how our Heavenly Father loves His son - without forethought or hesitation or restraint.

Once Jackson was swaddled, I brought him over to January and I saw, almost from outside of myself, what we were. No longer were January and I merely a husband and wife, with Jackson we became a family. Our own family set to live out our lives beneath the loving gaze of God. We spent the rest of that night getting what little rest we could and bonding with our son. Thankful beyond measure that God in his unfathomable grace had entrusted to us such a wonderful gift.