First Smile...

Jed and I are so happy to announce that Jackson gave his first beautiful smile, since the surgery, on Saturday night! I have to admit, I was a bit jealous, because Jed was the lucky one who witnessed the blessed event, but my envy subsided quickly as overwhelming happiness consumed me because my precious boy was showing signs of feeling better. Jackson's smiles then multiplied as soon as he was transferred from the Intensive Care Unit to Immediate Care Unit late Saturday evening. Since then, he has quickly been showing more and more signs of his adorable self (i.e., smiling, giggling, grabbing his cute, chubby feet, and trying to put anything, within reach, into his mouth!).

Yesterday (Sunday), Jackson's first chest tube was removed and the second remaining tube was removed this morning. Praise God! Removal of the chest tubes is a great indicator that Jackson is healing as he should and it gives him much needed comfort as those chest tubes are not comfortable in the slightest! The nurses reported that even grown men who have had heart surgery complain about how uncomfortable the chest tubes are. So Jed and I are very thankful that the tubes are gone. Jackson has also had numerous other tubes and such removed with each passing day. Presently, he only has one connected I.V., has been breathing on his own for two days now, and had his pace maker wires removed (which they thankfully never needed to use, because his heart was beating properly on its own). Yeah!

Jed and I want to thank each and every one of you who have prayed for Jackson's surgery and his recovery (as well as for Jed and I!). You have no idea how much it means to both of us. We have truly been so blessed by the outpouring of support we have received from all of you. Words cannot possibly express the gratitude we feel. THANK YOU!!! With that said, please continue to remember Jackson in your prayers for his recovery. We know God is doing great things through all of your faith and prayers.

God Bless,
January, Jed & Jackson

Chillin With My Boy

It's such a relief that Jackson is on the road to recovery, it is like a village of 800 pound gorillas have vacated my chest! January is at home getting some much needed rest, and I am here in my comfortable new socks while my boy is enjoying his morphine cocktail. They're waking him up to induce coughing now and then to keep his lungs free from fluid build-up. So far so good. The fluids from his chest cavity are draining nicely and he is eating plenty of mommy's milk. All of this to say the recovery is going as good as we had hoped, maybe even better.

God has made his goodness known in this trial by bringing healing to my son, and hopefully providing for a speedy and thorough recovery. Though this is in part through the incredible skill of the Children's medical staff, we are convinced that this has been enabled by the sovereign hand of our God moving the hearts of so many of you to prayer and action.

Praise be to God!

Surgery Update (4:00)

Praise our merciful God! Jackson's surgery went well. He has been moved to the ICU where he will be recovering for the next couple of days. I'll post more in a few hours, but the doctors are very pleased with the operation. He should be brought out of sedation sometime tonight or tomorrow morning.

Surgery Update (11:30)

Jed, January, Bill (January's dad), and Jackson arrived at the hospital at 6:00am. Jackson was wide eyed and as happy as ever. Jed and January spent sometime with the surgeon and the prep work began. Near 8:00am January and Jed held Jackson closely... then with great courage and tears entrusted baby Jackson into the arms of the medical team and into the hands of Jesus. We just received an update from the nurses and everything is going just like it is supposed to. The team is currently working on patching up the hole in Jackson's heart and he is on the heart and lung machine. People have been coming and going at the hospital and we are doing our best to hold each other well. Jed and January are so thankful for your prayers... and ask for continued prayer over the next few hours. Updates will come throughout the day. With love.

Outpouring of Support

January and I have been so deeply touched by the prayers and support that so many of you have offered up for Jackson, January and I. Simply because of your overwhelming compassion, we probably will not have the chance to thank each of you who have called to leave voicemails, or left comments, or sent e-mails. With that said, thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.

We have had the honor of seeing so many people from so many different Christian traditions come to our aid in this time of need. It is amazing how brilliantly Christ is made manifest when we set aside our peripheral issues and stop contending with each other, and unite around a common cause, compelled by the deeper love of Christ Himself and contend for each other. I know that this has brought a great deal of healing for me personally, and January and I have felt an increasing measure of peace, even though the stress grows as we approach tomorrow.

Here's a brief list of items that you can be praying for:
1. Above all else that God's good will be done in Jackson's life as he grows and lives his life before Him.
2. That Jackson's surgery would go as planned as God endows Dr. Lamberti and his team with the fullest measures of skill and care, and that the procedure will go without complication
3. That post-op, Jackson would be protected from infection and clotting, and his heart would beat within normal thresholds (ie: correct rhythm, rate, etc.), and he would be free of excessive buildup of fluid in his chest as he recovers.
4. That God would be giving us peace and confidence in His love as we face the stresses of tomorrow and in the coming days.

If you think of other things to be praying for, by all means pray. Pray as Christ would, pray for the things that Christ values remembering His promise:

If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it - John 14:14

Wondering how you can help?

Many people have been asking how they can help out Jed and January... here are a few ways:

1. Faithful prayer: Prayer for Jackson's recovery and rest for Jed and january. Prayer that God's love may be proclaimed to those who don't know Him through this situation.
2. Friendly words of encouragement: A way to show support can be a simple note, card, or email. Jed and January feel so loved by little simple words of encouragement. It helps just to know that people are thinking about them. Even posting a comment on this blog has meant so much. Here is their address/email:
jedpaschall@gmail.com
january.paschall@gmail.com

Jed, January and Jackson Paschall
2746 Flower Fields Way
Carlsbad, CA. 92010

3. Financially: Thankfully Jed and January have good health insurance that will cover most of the medical bills. But there are always hidden costs, co-pays, and medicines. Jed will have to take a few days off of work 'unpaid' and January is using all of her sick days in order to stay home with Jackson while he heals. Little gifts are also encouraging: gift cards to restaurants, target, or the grocery store. If you feel led to help with out, you can send your gift to the address listed above.

4. Food: For all of you who love to cook we need your help! Once the surgery is completed and the Paschalls are back at home we want to organize weekly (3 times a wk) meals. click here to sign up.

They're so grateful for your love & support! Your kindness helps them get thru these hard days.

Dear Jackson...

What can I say? How can I express what I am feeling at this moment? I have been delaying in writing this letter to you, because I didn't want to have to feel, even in the slightest, the immense pain and fear that is gripping my heart and has been since the day your dad and I found out about your heart disorder. I have been keeping myself busy in the attempt to stifle the crushing reality of your condition and your upcoming surgery, but I cannot keep doing this. I am not doing myself any favors by avoiding this matter. So, I will try my best in the coming words to convey to you how I am feeling.

First of all, I want you to know how much I love you. Words cannot express the depth of love I feel for you. The quote that we posted on your blog rings so true to my heart when it states that having a child ...is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. I could not say it any better. You mean the world to me. Every night, after I have put you to bed, I silently creep into your room and peer over the edge of your crib to watch you sleep and every night I am overwhelmed at how beautiful you are and that you came from your dad and me. What an amazing gift you are! I praise God for giving me such a beautiful little boy, inside and out, and entrusting your dad and I to raise you. With that said, it reminds me that you are, in fact, a gift and on loan to me from God. You are my son, but you are ultimately His. This truth is hard for me to accept, at times, especially in the wake of this trial. I love you so much and don't want to face the fact that you are mortal just like the rest of us and God is in control of your life, not me. I feel such a fierce protectiveness over you, but I have to place my trust in the Lord and give you over to Him each and every day. He is your ultimate protector and has your best interest in His will.

As the day of your surgery looms closer I am attacked with so many emotions: fear, anxiety, sorrow, guilt. The list goes on. I keep wondering, "Why Lord? Why my little boy? What did I do?" It's difficult for me, being the one that carried you in my womb for nine months, not to feel guilt for being responsible for your condition. Did I not take my prenatal vitamins every day? Did I not eat healthy enough? Where did I go wrong? Although I do know that my actions were not the cause of your condition, these nagging questions are always in the back of my mind. When these thoughts begin to consume me, I rely on a verse that a good friend gave me, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, " said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life" (John 9:3). Jesus is responding to his disciples' inquiries as to why a man was born blind. This verse speaks God's truth into my questioning heart and provides me with a sense of peace that surpasses my limited understanding of the whys of this situation.

In closing, Jackson, I want to leave you with the following, May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace (Numbers 24-27).

I love you,
Mom